No One Mourns The Wicked...

oh so depressing.. ;P

2009-04-30T23:05:08Z

Well, got back from Florida (I HAVE A TAN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS 8 OR SOMETHING!!!) So sad to be back... it was beautiful there and my first time. We stayed at a place called Wakulla Suites which was so cheap and the rooms were literally apartements!! It was amazing! It was on the ocean side of Florida so I got my first taste of salt water...literally... I almost vomited. LOL! I went to sea world I GOT TO PET MANTA RAYS!!! THEY ARE ADORADLE!! LIKE SLIMY LITTLE KITTENS! I want 1.
It was sad to come home... especially to the mountains of paperwork the was left for me!

and no, the manta ray did not try to sting me in the heart. lol.

But the most depressing thing was getting back to the mail at work for me. I got my "thank you for putting up with us for 5 yrs" catalogue from EB... it's actually been 6.. but who's counting? ;) it depresses me that I've been there for this long...it'll be even more depressing when I hit 10 yrs! But, on the up side, I get to pick an "award" ...they've got some really cool stuff!! (none of it game related, weirdly enough) I CAN GET AN ICE CREAM MAKER!! There's also a telescope! and jewelry and italian lether handbags, kenneth cole wallets, watches.... and an inukshuk... why would anyone choose that? lol. Hurray for random.

gamer_kittah @ 2009-01-29T23:14:00

2009-01-30T04:21:40Z

Well, more about work..... I forgot to mention in my previous post that all of the managers who I thought were my friends were part of the reason I got fucked over. They all lied to me first of all, and I've discovered that apparently none of them have any respect for me.... I'm just slightly useful eye candy.... and a big flirt, and my DM thinks that I sleep around. Hurrah! I am never going anywhere! It's going to be really hard to go to work every day and smile and do my job.... but I have rent to pay now.

It helps to have wicked cool old ladies come into your store and talk games and tell you dirty jokes though! This woman was HILARIOUS!!! I hope to be like he when I get older.

Which reminds me! I didn't even post that I HAVE GREY HAIRS!!!! HURRAH!! I am so excited! :D I know, I'm odd. But it's so great! I never have to dye my hair again cause soon I will be old and distunguished. ;)

Fuckin work....

2009-01-28T23:43:59Z

So, I just got fucked over again at work.
I'm considering the 3 strike you're out rule.....
Cause this is their 3rd strike.

A new store opened up and they wanted to move my manager there, so we thought the most logical course of action since I've been acting manager twice before was to move him, promote me and give me the new girl they hired as my ASM.... well, because my DM hates me for some reason instead of doing that he's moving like a billion people around just so he can avoid promoting me! and to top it all off one of the other managers told me in confidence that my DM told him I'd been passed up because I don't take my job seriously enough and don't do enough for the company!!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK?!
I CAME IN ON CHRISTMAS FUCKING DAY, MISSING MY FAMILY STUFF TO SET UP FOR BOXING DAY!
I PUT IN MORE HRS THAN I HAVE TO AND DO SO MUCH STUFF THAT IS NOT IN MY JOB DECRIPTION!
I WORK MY FUCKING ASS OFF!!!

I hate this because I like working there.... but if I'm not going anywhere and getting screwed over every 2 seconds then why stay?

I've got a computer! ...so depressing...

2009-01-15T23:48:45Z

So, after all this time I finally have a computer of my very own!!! ....and no friends so...what's the fun in that? I went on MSN and realized that I really don't talk to anyone on my list any more so.... why would I even go on? Even typing this is rather depressing because I finally realize that no one reads it any ways...wel, except for Shaun ... but I would tell him all this on the weekend so big deal. lol! Well, whatever. That's the way it's going to be I guess.
Even checking my email is depressing because only 1 person emailed me... and that was my first ex boyfriend trying (yet again) to get his PS2 games back. I actually found a couple more and he's welcome to them because maybe then he'll stop bugging me about them. It's been like 6 yrs! Or longer! geez. :(
One awesome thing about my new computer is that I can finally find anime!! Hurrah! I got a kick ass site from Jun and I've been watching XXX Holic. But the site only let's you watch for 70mins and then makes you come back in 54mins for some reason. It's annoying but it's got really good stuff on the site in really good quality. :)
I get to go to Bugsy's tonight! I went on the weeken too! It's been so long and no one remembers me there:( it's depressing. I went with Shaun and Peaul on the weekend and tonight I'm going with Paul and we're gonna play Magic (yesI'm a geek and Shaun and I are teaching Paul how to be one!) and saturday night i'll probably do the same thing with Shaun! Then on Sunday I get to go see Bot! Hurrah! It's gonna be a good wekend!

gamer_kittah @ 2008-12-22T16:05:00

2008-12-22T21:14:32Z

YAY!! I HAVE A USER PIC!!!

I forgot how to do a lot of stuff on lj! But I just re-activated my old lj and it reminded me of a lot of stuff! :)

like inserting pics!! This is me and cp. We were playin Secret of Mana with Shaun! YAY 3 player Secret of mana!!! :)
I'll have to get a pic of my tree on here so i can show it off!!!

Christmas is here again!! :)

2008-12-22T20:14:23Z

Well, Christmas is here and that means.... alot of work. lol. I've been working long hours. But the plus is that because of the recession it really hasn't been that bad! It's always been SO MUCH BUSIER!
I celebrated christmas today with CP! :)
It was so cute. He made me a tofurky christmas dinner last night and we watched "Snowball Express" and went out for a drink with my dad who really seems to like him now because CP ate some of his "Mike's wings" that he always gets at Cheers.
This morning we opened presents... CP went a little crazy and bought me what feels like a whole new wardrobe! lol. I felt bad because I'm poor so I couldn't get him very much compared to what he got me. One of his presents isn't finished yet too. It'll be more of a new years gift I guess...
I have a tree too!! I love it. I wasn't going to get 1 because...what's the point? But I was kinda forced into it and I'm very happy I did because it's awesome! I didn't have any decorations really so I had to maguyver some, and I think I did a great job! I got some dollar store tinsel, and found some old fake pearl necklaces that I cut so they're strands and put them on, I found some crystals that I stole off my grandfathers chandalier when I was younger and put them on, I wrapped red & green marbles in saran wrap and tied them with sparkly red yarn and put them on, and then I have 3 ornaments: Frank Sinatra and Hello kitty from Shaun, and a plaster angel with a star that has my name on it from Ryans mom. And the piece de resistance: CP & I made out of toilet paper rolls at the top of my tree! :) lol! For someone who's been working so much I still have too much time on my hands! ;)
Well, I'm about to watch the 1st version of "the office" which I also got for christmas! It's the one with Ricky Gervais instead of Steve Carrell. I'm so excited...and kinda mad because I didn't have it before because it was so expensive! CP spent way too much on me. :( I really hate people spending money on me.
I'm kinda sad that he had to leave. Also my sister called me and told me that my younger sister now decided that she's not going to come open presents with my fam on Christmas Eve, which is our tradition now. Christmas is really gonna suck and I'm gonna be stuck alone in my apt. :( It's really depressing that I'm going to wake up alone on christmas day... no people to spend it with, no presents under the tree... so sad...
But I'm gonna stop thinking of that right now and go try to get presents done! :)

A trip to Beaver...yes, that's right. Beaver.

2008-11-30T00:23:19Z

Well, I've done so much lately!! I went on a random road trip!! I mean, the kind of road trip I've been tryin to get together for SO LONG!!! Me and my new....guy... went "where can we get to in a night?" we checked out a map and discovered...BEAVER PENNSYLVANIA!!! Lol. You could see what made us go "Hell Yeah!" haha!

So we started out on Tuesday Nov 18th after I got off work. We got to the border and...here's a tip.... never tell the border gaurds that you're going to Pennsylvania and you don'tt know why and you don't know where you're going to stay... they really don't like that. We got told to pull over and get out of the vehicle. We had to sit in a holding pen while they searched our truck. I know. I really do look like a smuggler.
Then we were on our way again.
We got to Beaver and saw a Toys r us with a big sign over it that said "Beaver Valley Mall" and we started laughin thinking "this is the mall?!" then we it. The mall. IT WAS HUGE!! It was like the fairview, the pen and niagara square all put together! Beaver was actually bigger than we thought. We were joking around about there not being any rooms available in Beaver so we went into the Holiday Inn which had the BEST frontdesk guy EVER!!! He was hilarious! An older short little fat guy with these magnifying bubble glasses but he still had to lean within an inch of the monitor to see it and he had this high whispy voice, it was amazing! And he told us that he only had three rooms left... THREE!! Turns out there was some conference going on and we almost DIDN'T get a room!! The best part is that we found this is all so hilarious that WE DIDN'T LISTEN TO OUR ROOM #! We knew it was on the 3rd floor but didn't hear which # and we couldn't find it on the key card! So we tried a couple random doors and laughed hysterically until we realized it was on the outside of the envelope! Well, that's all I'll write now....to be continued...cause I'm starving. And there's Thai!! :) mmmmmm......

Greetings from Saskatoon!! ..part deux :)

2008-10-13T17:41:06Z

Well, yesterday was lots of fun!! Shaun had to work so I got left by my lonesome for most of the day but that was okay because I decided to explore. I found a trail along the River Saskatchewan and walked SO FAR!!! Then I found some really scary rickety bridge that went over the river (it was really high up and consisted of a couple of boards put together that you could look down and see the river through and they creaked and groaned when you stepped on them. Then I ended up on the other side of the river and had no clue where I was. I kept walking straight and lost the trail so I wanted to find a way back to it (cause I could still see it in the distance) but the only was back was to cross some huge field and fight my way through some thistles!! lol.

So, I found my way back to the other side of the river but still had no clue where I was because I'd ended up in some sort of residential area! I knew I had to get back to 1st st N and 22nd st E. which sounds easy enogh....but not when 1st st N mysteriously ends because there's a big 'Robin Hood' factory in the way! So I had to find an alternate route to the other side which consisted of walking though some industrial facility that had a whole bunch of signs saying that I wasn't supposed to be there! lol. Meanwhile Shaun was trying to find me and (because he doesn't usually doesn't drive a truck) had gotten into an accident, running into a 'no parking' sign! lol! and busting the oil pan! So I now had to try to find him!! I had to backtrack and try to find a way back around the factory which consisted of inding my way through some creepy muddy train grave yard!!

Well, the best part of the night which had me laughing forever was when Shaun was talking to the rental guy. The conversation went something like this:
S-Shaun
R-Rental guy

S- "so how much can this new truck caryy?"
I- "....well, I'm not sure but it would be in the manual..."
S- "Oh! but I can't drive manual!"

.....lol....oh Shaun!!
Well, I'm headed home today. My flight leaves here at 2pm, it's a 3.5 hr flight and I get in to T.O at 7:30pm ... I just can't get used to that! Where do the 2 hrs go?! lol.

I hope to hear from people when I get back!

Greetings from Saskatoon!!!

2008-10-11T16:59:31Z

Well, I made it safetly to Saskatoon.... it's very flat. :) lol. The plane ride was fun but my ass fell asleep. It made me want to go sky diving even more!! I could totally jump out of that!!

Shaun is being responsible and workin right now so I'm killing some time while he talks to his client or something. :)

It feels really weird to re-live these couple of hours again! It was 10am twice today.....that's confusing! :) It's a 2 hr time difference between here and St. Kitts so I left st. Kitts at 8:30am was on a plane for 3 hrs and arrived in Saskatoon at 9:55am...lol.

Well, that's all for now!!

Quick update

2008-10-09T01:11:49Z

Well, I don't know how often I'll be able to do this since I'm totally cut off from the world now that I have my own place... *sigh* all the pros and cons. I've been in my new place for about a month now and still haven't had time for a housewarming party (which you are all invited to!!) but at least I've been unpacked for a while now (It looks like an apartment as opposed to a storage facility!). It's nice but I'm so poor it's not funny. I have (literally) $2 to my name right now. Stupid phone bill being about $200.... it's from my trip to t.o and london. Long distance and texts.....blah. But I love my place, although it's rather lonely at times.

I went to see Spamalot last week!!! It was pretty great, although I wasn't a fan of the guy who played Arthur...he looked SO MUCH like Tim Curry....but unfortunately didn't have the talent or voice of him.... It was great though and I have the soundtrack now! Hurrah! I can finally sing along with it!!!

And my last crazy news.... I'm going to Saskatoon for Thanksgiving!!! My friend Shaun is stuck there by his lonesome so he's flying my out to spend the holiday with him!! I fly out on Sat morning and come home Mon night. Kinda sucks that it's my first time on a plane and I have to experience it alone... but I think I'll survive... and if not, Shaun got some sort of flight insurance on me so at least I will not have died in vain!! ;) lol

Well, that's my quick update... I don't know when I'll have access to a computer again.... but I figured I would at least let people know that I'm alive and well and miss you all..... CALL ME PEOPLE!! I'M LONELY!! :)

Goodbye to an Era....

2008-08-24T20:59:40Z

Well, Ryan has officially moved to Barrie. I thought I would be happy to see him leave. No more stalking and angry phone calls! But..... I miss him!! I spent last night saying goodbye to him and spent most of it bursting into random tears. I never realizrd how much I did with him that I can't do with anyone else:

1) No one to skank with anymore! Who am I going to go to ska shows with and make a fool of myself with?!

2)Who will I go to Bugsys with to get drunk and argue about stupid things like books and life.

3) Will we ever share the 2003 Port that I got for him?! It's the best port ever made and I might miss out now!

4) Who will I go to the Thanksgiving craft shows with?!

The list goes on and on....

I know that he and I definitely had our problems but, I still love him. He was my best friend. I think that reason there was such animosity between us all the time was because we both truly understood who the other was. He truly knew my self destructive ways and patterns and knew where they stemmed from, and I knew about his low self-esteem and wierd sense of humor and understood them.... but we both couldn't change. Maybe someday we'll grow up and things will be different.

I don't know if we'll ever be together like that anymore but he'll always be my soul mate. I hate that he knew what I was and what I would do, but it was nice to have someone who understand.... even if it tore them up inside....and it was nice to have someone still love me in spite of it.... I'll really miss him.

Only time will tell if this is the death of the Youbells....

TOPPING THE CHARTS WITH THE WORST B-DAY EVER!!!

2008-08-21T03:50:22Z

So, the birthday curse continues.... I have never been allowed to have a good birthday.Every year is worse than the last I think. Well, this year definitely takes the cake!!! (haha)
I thought last year was bad when I spent the entire night getting berrated by my ex about how I'd wasted my life and I was screwed up beyond repair, and so on and so forth.... but this year....well, let's make a list, shall we?
It was litterally like the clock struck 12am and my life went to hell....

1: I seem to have lost the person that I thought was my best friend in the world.

2: I spent 5 1/2-6 hrs on a VERY crowded bus as the most stupid bus driver on the planet took the slowest route on the planet (I think he actually went all the way AROUND the planet!) to take me back to St. Kitts

3: Where I was picked up by a friend of mine (which I thought was sweet) ....until he pulled into a parking lot and gave me some very horrible, horrible news....that I won't get into.

4: Got home and found out my sister had to have her cat put down.

5: Got some thing in the mail saying that the police have a court document for me....what the hell? I probably have to appear at the trial for this crackhead who tried to steal a PS3 from my store back in the winter...

6: Barely anyone wished me a happy birthday and nobody called to hang out with me....and I'm stuck at home writing about my shitty, shitty birthday....

HAPPY 24TH ME!!

Seriously considering killing myself right now just so I don't have to see the horrors that the big 2-5 will bring....not really, but it would make things a hell of a lot easier...

On the plus side, at least I get to sleep in my own bed, and possibly get a good night's sleep tonight...

Tales from the T-dot

2008-08-18T02:26:52Z

So, sitting here in the great t.o waiting for my friend Shaun to do laundry and killing time so I figured I'd regale all of the 3 people who read my LJ with tales of my crazy times....
So, Friday I got here and got my b-day gift from my friend Shaun. HE BOUGHT ME A ZOOT SUIT!!! It's crazy and wonderful. I've always wanted one....and it's yellow! We had champagne to celebrate and we went for dinner at Mr. Greenjeans in the Eaton Centre so we could have purple hazes. mmmmmm..... so good!! Then I introduced him to Extras (what an amazing show!) and then spent the rest of the night hanging out with my friend Dave..... good times. :)
Saturday was an action packed day. Shaun and I went rock climbing.... I wouldn't recommend doing this on about 3 hrs sleep.... but it was a lot of fun. I can't wait to go back so I can totally own Shaun. I couldn't this time because I was so tired.
Then Shaun and I went to the James Joyce to meet up with my friend Marcus and his girlfriend Cat to get our drink on......so much drink! I'd been drinking all day before I got there, then about 4-5 beers, a jagerbomb and an irish carbomb later.....well, let's just say it wasn't a fun night after that. Blah. Marcus had a worse night though. Apparently, he left us, KEPT DRINKING and ended up breaking a window somehow.... I didn't get all of the details.
So, today has been a day of recuperation. We lazed about, watched more Extras, played some magic, and went to the greatest restaurant on the planet!!!! It's called Toko (a japanese restaurant) and it's one of those places that has a conveyor belt of food and you just take what you want, and eat it. IT'S SO GREAT!! I love mystery food off conveyor belts!!
Well, Shaun just got back from laundry, so I'm going to go watch Cube 2: Hypercube!
And tomorrow I get to go see James!!! I R so excited!!

bored.....stupid days off and lack of friends....

2008-08-09T01:02:20Z

Well, another day off where I'm almost wishing I was at work....almost...

If it weren't for Lauren and a random coffee and lots of bitching moment to break up the monotony right now I think I'd be dead. I wish someone would call and entertain me. All I have is beer and "Street Pharmacy" right now....and the CDs almost over...

It was nice to see Lauren though....I never get to and we always say that me, her and James are best friends but....we're like best friends twice removed now. ;) lol. I miss them a lot.....even Lauren, who I just saw about an hour ago. But, Lauren and I came up with a reason that we're all so distant from each other, she took a page from her friend John's book and decided "everything can be solved with sex" so we decided that the three musketeers should just all have sex and get it out of the way and that'll fix everything...now we just have to pitch the idea to James. lol. All that sexual tension ;) haha.

Apparently the next CD in my disc changer was "Arrogant Worms" .....makes me think of James. :( hmmmm....what do I feel like listening to? (by the way, tis is going to be a random "Nicole's inner monologue" post I think, because I'm so bored....)

Ao, on with the Happy CD now....couresy of Shaun...I can't find the last one though... the one that was perfect....it's not in it's case.... I know I shoved it in one of my other cases but I can't remember which.... :(

Well, I need to figure out what I'm doing the week of my birthday....on Fri-Sun or Mon I'll be in T.O visiting some friends. 2 confirmed and 1 I'm waiting to hear back from....then the rest of the week I'm not sure about!

I've been ditched for the rest of the night. :( I'm so bored....this sucks, but everyone is busy. Working or going to parties without me. :( What to do?

gamer_kittah @ 2008-08-08T11:13:00

2008-08-08T18:23:18Z

So, only 6 more days and then I get to go to Toronto!! Huzzah!! I really need to get out of here.

Work yesterday was interesting. My other female employee and I had a little chat at the end of the night. I was in a bad mood all day because Brad was supposed to call or stop by or something to see me....and didn't. Ryan called a bunch of times to have stupid arguments with me while I was working....and my friend Rick stopped in to hang out for a bit, but got angry and stormed home....bah. So, Liane and I had a bit of a rant-fest for the rest of the night. It's so wierd. She and I are alot alike....but at the same time we're complete opposites. She doesn't want a relationship because she wants too little out of it. She says that there's not point because she'll just end up treating them like a friend anyways....and I don't want a relationship because I want both too much, and too little....I'm just never happy with anything. I never know what to say to Liane though because she doesn't want to be close or physical with a guy and I worry that if I tell her about my views on stuff like that she's going to think I'm a horrible person....she's a cool person though.

It's funny how stuff about people always comes out when you're not with them anymore though.....I was telling Liane about how me and Brad were no longer seeing each other and I got the "well, It's probably for the best....he was pretty wierd....and he really should have treated you better. I mean, he never seemed to WANT to come see you or anything." lol. Why don't people tell me I'm with a loser WHEN I'M WITH THEM?! I mean, you can all save me a lot of time, effort, and grief. Although, he really wasn't a loser....I just don't think he was right for me....he started to act the way everyone does eventually. I should be able to realize this is going to happen before it does by now... I mean, how many times does it take before I develop some sense??

Hurrah, Hurrah!?

2008-08-03T22:22:55Z

I R verra excited!! My DM came to my store a few days ago and actually (for once) treated me like an actual human being!! He chatted with me about anime and joked around with me and such-like and he told me about this new website he'd found where you could stream anime without sownloading me and apparently is has ABSOLUTEY EVERY anime you can think of (according to him) he couldn't remember what the website was but told me he would send me the link somehow. Well, I got home today and (in my junk mail) was an email from Jun with the website.... FROM HIS PRIVATE EMAIL ACCOUNT!! I feel so special! I think he acually likes me now....for some strange an unknown reason....

.....I'm going with "aliens stole his body and replaced him with some sort of fun happy droid who is progeammed to like everything) .....sounds more logical then him ACTUALLY liking me out of the blue. But, I'm not complaining!!

Trying to finalized plans for tonight. Don't know what to do. Most options could potentially blow up in my face. I'm supposed to go out with the ex tonight but, after last night (a lovely screaming match at Bugsy's) I don't know if I want to do that. The end of the night was really good though. Random excursion to Jaycee Park at about 1am.....fun, but I have about 52 mosquito bites from it! (I know this because I counted them when I got home).

I want to watch the rest of "Torchwood", it's so good! But why does everyone seem to have to hots for Owen? I mean, he's kinda cute in a quirky way....but he looks like a monkey! LOL.

gamer_kittah @ 2008-08-01T19:01:00

2008-08-02T02:22:21Z

So, lol. Atbegliocchi's persistence I feel like writing a "Dear: Diary" kind of LJ about what my ideal guy would be like but....the comment got me thinking about how sad it is that I don't even know what the perfect guy would be like! It's hard to find what you're looking for when you don't know what that is....or maybe you do but it always seems so impossible? I have really strange ways at looking at things and it gives me a very skewed view of the world and make it very hard to follow my thoughts, and actions....and even morals at times.... who could ever put up with someone with no apparent logic?
It always makes me think.....there really is nothing wrong with these guys so....what's wrong with me? I always try to figure out what made me like this in the first place....thinking that it might be more fun to be dense and oblivious and join the masses of people who get extatically happy at the drop of a hat and remain that way forever....why can't I do that?
Why is it important to have something new and exciting just to realize how great old and familiar was? ....

I was reminded at this point that not all that was old and familiar was not as great as I remember it being but....who knows. That always seemed to be because of me. Same pattern everytime: I just like to take all of the attention and not give any in return and as soon as they want to share the limelight for a little bit I get bored and run away....then everyone I ever meets thinks that they will be the cure for this but....maybe what I need is someone who doesn't try.....someone who understands that....as ani difranco put it "my friends always said i was like a cat
the kind of cat you can't just pick up and throw into your lap
no this kind of cat only like being held, when it's her idea
a cat who decides what she want to feel when she's good and ready
to feel it, and now I am prowling through the backyard and hiding
under the car, I've gotten out of everything I've gotten into so far
I sleep when I am hungry and I travel alone and outside the glow of
the house is where I feel most at home...."

meh. Maybe a bit too emo and dramatic? But I love that line and it really does remind me of myself....these are the reasons I shouldn't be left to my own devices on a Friday night....where is everyone?

gamer_kittah @ 2008-07-30T21:13:00

2008-07-31T04:23:28Z

Well, I feel really shitty right now......I just sort of got dumped...can you say that about someone you were never really dating? Well, I feel horrible anyways. We've been too busy to hang out over the past couple of weeks and tonight I finally got the "I just don't feel like it's working. I have stuff I need to sort out" speech.

I alsmost felt like pulling a George Costanza at that point. "I invented that speech!! If anyone's not working in this...it's me!!" because it's so true.

Don't you hate it when you get upset about things that you really shouldn't get upset about? I mean, I felt the same way but I think I got upset because I didn't get to do it first. Mostly, because I hate losing friends. I think that's the thing that annoys me most about this whole thing. I feel like I just lost a friend.....

How do I manage to do this every time? I'm glad it ended when it did though because he started (just vaguely but it was definitely starting) to turn into all of the other guys I've been with. The snippy comments when I hang out with other guys and such, and he was the last person I ever expected that to come from! I really need to get out of st. Kitts! And on top of everything else, I night not get my weekend in T.O for my b-day if Shaun gets sent to the Yukon....blah. I also just though, Jun (my DM) is coming to my store tomorrow to go over my review so I can't even slack and be miserable.....could things get any worse? I shouldn't say that because I'm sure that they could....

no longer living in Disneyland...

2008-07-31T04:09:54Z

So, I'm reading this completely fantasic book by Scott Bakker (or for those who have read his "Prince of Nothing" series; R. Scott Bakker) this book is called "Neuropath" and it's his first Psychological thriller and it's....AMAZING! so messed up!!

It's all about this psychologist who finds out that his best friend is a psychopath all because of something called "the Argument" that they used to have is college because of a class they used to have on the apocolypse where they found out about the "semantic" apocolypse which is the "apocolypse of meaning"

Basically, the argument is that we are all just meat puppets because everything we do is actually based on sensory input and social output. We do things basically because of environmental stimuli that fires up certain neurons and causes us to do something. The scariest part is that this book is based on actual cognitive research. Apparently there have been studies that prove that through mapping the firing of our neurons research psychologists can know what we're going to do before it even reaches our conciousness! He proves that we have no freewill since experiences are just "processing inputs and churning out behavoural outputs" and since freewill is an experience then it's not real. It's just that only a small portion of our brain is concious of itself so the brain can wrap itself around everything nut itself which is why we came up with the "soul" and "freewill" when really we're just "robots dreaming we have a soul" it's all quite fantasic and messed up.

The book is about how the friend Neil basically stops viewing people as people and starts seein them as brains...and starts messing with those brains, literally. It's so disturbing some of the things he does. He kidnaps one girl and send the F.B.I a video, he's opened her brain and "changed the wiring" so to speak. He crosses the pain and pleasure receptors in her head so she would confuse the 2....and then he hangs her a piece of broken glass....I'm sure you can figure out what happens from there. It's messed but morbidly cool.....

gamer_kittah @ 2008-07-09T18:21:00

2008-07-10T01:23:57Z

OH YEAH!! Totally forgot to mention in my last post!!!!

WIERD AL IS GOING TO BE AT CASINO RAMA JULY 24TH AND 25TH!!!

I really want to go. Wonder if I can still get tickets.... although they might be sold out already.... I don't even know where Casino Rama is but....I'll find a way there....

gamer_kittah @ 2008-07-09T17:54:00

2008-07-10T01:14:20Z

Well, this has been a fun filled week of shananagans and slacking at work! :)

Sunday I went to the drive-in. I was supposed to see Hancock and Don't mess with the Zohan..... I saw Hancock (I thought it was really good by the way, no matter what the reviews say) and "Don't mess with the Zohan" .....well, we lasted through about 20 mins of it and left. We knew it would be crap... and we weren't disappointed.

Monday I had a game/movie night at my friend Rick's with our friends Christian and John. So much fun watching Christian play "Warhawk" he found out that the environments were destructable and ran around destroying stop signs and such while his team went after the other teams flag. Rick was getting pissed so we started making jokes like "come on Rick, he's contributing! how will the blue team know where to go now!! And they won't know how fast the speed limit is either and then we'll be like 'you were going 60 in a 50 zone! you're so owned bitch!'" lol. Good times! We gamed and watched "AVP2" (worst acting ever.....okay maybe not as bad as MANOS HANDS OF FATE! LOL( so fun to MST 3k though!!, then "Superbad" and "Waiting" we also went to Perkins at about 4am and then back to Rick's for more shananagans.....we were there until about 8:30am.

Tuesday was basically a repuperation day from Monday. I did a whole lot of nothing but...... HELL'S KITCHEN SEASON FINALLY!!! (If you didn't see it and don't want it spoiled then look away now but

I CAN'T BELIEVE CHRISTINA WON!! PETROZZA IS SO MUCH COOLER!! and I can't believe that Jen asked for a letter of reference from Ramsey! She is so stupid!!

Then today it was back to work. I did a bunch of actual work in the morning and then slacked off for the rest of the day because Rick came in to distract me and then cute ambulance guy....oh, sorry he corrected me on that...cute PARAMEDIC guy came in to chat with me. He's so funny. Then it was pretty much time to go home. I got to freak out one of my regular customers first though. He called to find out if his pre-order was in today and not knowing that we have call display I cut him off before he could ask and said "oh, you want to know if your Civ game is in right?" he was very confused and freaked out and thought that I recognized his voice and was stalking him. IT WAS HILARIOUS!! He told me that I win the "most awkward moment of the day" award! I was quite proud, but apparently I'm never allowed to do something like that again..... so of course next time he calls I have to COMPLETELY freak him out!! I'm thinking of answering the phone with a very breathy "why hello lincoln" and finishing it off with some heavy breathing. lol.

Well, that was my fun in a nutshell. Too, bad that's pretty much all that's going on this week.

just like the good ole days.... :)

2008-07-05T22:52:30Z

I had such a fun time on Thursday night!! I went to my friend Rick's to hang out and drink (because we'd never really gone drinking together but we were both poor) We watched "Thank you for Smoking" which is a bloody fantastic movie, and the Tenacious D HBO specials because I'd lent it to him about 3 months before and he hadn't watched it or given it back....bastard....lol. Wwll, that wasn't the real fun of the night though....Rick still lives at hime so at about 3am his mom kicked us out of the house, so Rick and I decided to take the party to the streets. He lives right near the canal so we went near one of the locks and continued our drinking. I felt so deliciously underaged!! lol it was fantastic! I haven't done that in years (...probably because I haven't had to!!) The water started getting really choppy at one point and we realized that a boat was coming through the lock. We had fun yelling to the sailors aboard asking if they were allowed to drink on the boats (which apparently they're not) and they were coming from Chicago or something I guess. Then Rick got the bright idea to go to the observation deck near the ....lock 1? Museum (I think it's lock 1 at least) telling me that it was really close....CLOSE MY ASS!! about 1.5 hrs later (okay maybe not that long but it was light out by the time we got there) we were there. It was abbout 6:30 or 7am by this point and we were really tired so we put down his backpack of beer and used it as a pillow and fell asleep on the observation deck for a bit with guys mowing the lawn under us. IT WAS HILARIOUS!! Then we figured we should go home but it's such a long way to get back so I called my friend Brad (at about 8am by this point) and greeted him with "oh, were you sleeping" (lol, I'm such a bitch) and he got up and took us home stating all the way that this was the second time I'd randomly ended up there and had to call him to come get me (the other time was the never-ending walk I took when I couldn't get off the trail and got kinda lost and ended up there). I love my adventures!!

I'm excited because I get to go to Bugsy's tonight! I haven't been there for so long because my ex (who I usually go with) and I haven't been on very good terms for awhile. But we went to S.C.E.N.E last weekend and hung out and made sushi the next day and we didn't argue at all.....so, hopefully the trend continues....

I am unsane.

2008-06-25T00:55:47Z

So, i'm bored out of my mind.... and in my state of advance boredom I had a thought so, Nicole's insane thought of the day:

Why do they call it "in"sane?
If you are IN sanity... isn't that a good thing?
maybe they should call it "un"sane, or "out"sane....

Well, that was it....
Boredly unsane Nicole signing out...

gamer_kittah @ 2008-06-23T10:39:00

2008-06-23T17:45:24Z

So, my first ex just had a kid... a father!! That is so messed up! and, what's wierder is that his mom sent me an email about it! I'm happy for him but it just makes me feel like everyone's growing up but me. I'm not ready to be a grown-up yet! Everyone's getting careers and getting married and having babies..... I don't get it! I'm having fun playing.... or am I? Who knows. I don't know what to think anymore. I've been looking into storm chasing. Maybe I'll just drop everything and run off to take pictures of natural disasters... that'll show how responsible I am.
Lee and I were talking about kids at work. It's really funny to hear what people think of you. Apparently it's general consensus that I'd be a horrible mother. I thought that was kind of mean... I mean, I'm really good with kids! ....I just don't like them! lol.

Plus, everyone thinks I'm cruel for the names I picked out

Boys: Satchmo, Floyd (for pink floys) or if I have 2 then they would be Stan and Ollie (for Laurel and Hardy)

Girls: Biscotti or Callista

I like them. Doesn't matter though because I am NEVER having kids....

gamer_kittah @ 2008-06-16T22:01:00

2008-06-17T02:17:13Z

Everyone should go see Evil Dead the Musical!!!! It was so hilarious!! I wish I had gotten splattered more (and wore white) but I hope to go back so it's all good. I got the soundtrack and a pair of Evil Dead underwear because it's awesome!! lol. I got my non-drinking friend to try alcohol (which I am both proud of and not) it was his choice and not mine though. I got to walk in the most amazing storm ever!!!!!! You've never felt a storm until you feel it coming at you horizontally down the streets of t.o flooding everything. It was amazing!! But, I also got to experience another storm last night that may have rivaled it. I was standing on a rock on the lake in Port last night during that crazy storm we had (although it didn't feel crazy to some other people but in Port...it was so amazing!!) So, I was on a rock on the lake, there was a single clear patch over my head although the rain was ridiculous and there was lightning circling all around me... it seriously felt like I was conducting the weather!! It was one of the single most amazing feelings in my life! (even rivaling behemoth!) I definitely have to go back to T.O soon though. I miss it already. by the way, to shaun I put "here comes the sun" on my happy CD twice!! i'm quite sad I could have kept one of my other songs.... and you know how I taught you about a chaser? Well, Brad just showed me his idea of a chaser...... he knocked by an ensure (on of those gross powdery, milky protein drinks) and chased it down with some dr. pepper..... *gag* that's vile...... I want to go see evil dead again....